f OO f IGHTERS' f OOl

Dec 2nd of 2005

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 20:05:17 GMT

THIS IS OVER.

Nov 20th of 2005

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 05:26:48 GMT

seeing you today was one of the hardest things i had to do.
but letting go of you is the hardest thing.

maybe God will send you back to me in the future, maybe.

I cant leave you but i know you cant stay

pickles and pookie 637 =*|

-M-

Nov 13th of 2005

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 06:27:00 GMT

my weekend went something like this...

Boo boo. =D i love love love love love love love him so much.

-M-

Nov. 11th of 2005

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 10:54:13 GMT

Thank you Jon Ross for a looooooooooooooooovely night.
even tho ur mom will never be the same in my eyes... =X
and even tho i ALMOST hit a car. =( i am one lucky ass bitch.

i love yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

GOOD NIGHT...
buzzed.

-M-

Nov 7th of 2005

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 07:56:56 GMT

fellas,
tell your lady she's the one
and ladies
let him know he's got your love

look right in their eyes and tell them.

other people want my attention, my loving, my time, but i chose not to give it away to anybody but you. you got my love, please don't take it for granted.

i see everybody else's relationships that are lasting, are strong, and beautiful... and i wonder, that used to be us... what the hell happened?

anyways, i like studying. lolxx. infact, back to studying i go.

-M-

Nov 1st of 2005

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 18:36:52 GMT

i really don't appreciate it when you guys lie to me. what is wrong with you? though i've lost some friends because i've told them the truth, at least I'VE SAID THE TRUTH. after that, it's up to you to want to keep our friendship or not, i am not ashame of my life and what i do with it. if you're so ashame of it, SAY IT, don't lie or hide your feelings.. please. i'm not afraid of what you have to say.

dont you guys get it? FRIENDSHIPS ARE BUILT WITH TRUST, NOT DECEIT. if we don't have that, then we never will.

"you love, you learn, you move on..."

prime is a good movie...

it made me soooo sad =( =( =( sometimes love ISN'T enough. infact... it isn't.

so i had a talk with teetee yesterday nite. i told her that the people who means the most to me are not only hurting me, but themselves with the things that they do. u guys don't know how much i cry, how many countless nights that i breakdown while i sleep. you know how sad that is? just typing this, for you all to see brings me like... shooting pains in my stomach cause i hate the way everything is just falling apart for my love ones....

for "him". (i hope he reads this) God knows i love him so much and how much i hate seeing him suffer. its hard to hear and find out about such horrible things in his life. it really makes me just want to drop whatever i'm doing and go to him. but i know he doesn't want or need me there so i keep my distance. i think i'm actually gonna have the courage to move on, i gotta. it's hurting too much to hold on to something that isn't there. i hope, i pray that his life gets better and he'll be happy again someday. i don't even care if we'll ever be together again, i just want him to have a good life. i may love another person but i'll never love them the way i loved him.

-M-

Oct 29th of 2005

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 10:46:12 GMT

friday::
work!! went to a party with henry g, THANKS for takin care of my stupid ass. sorry to my co worker jon for ditchin his party =(

sat::
couldnt get out of bed till fucken 4pm!!! damn hang over.. mutha @@###%^^&*%%!!!! partied at century.

sunday::
thank god i work at nite.

so lately i haven't been myself. i do put up a front when i see everybody... sad to admit.... i've lost hope in alot of things. =( that's what got to me in these past few weeks... hope is gone. i use to be so opimistic bout problems in my life cuz i know at the end, it will all work out. but then i realized, life isn't all rainbows and butterflies, and by realizin that little true, my mind frame switched. to be honest with everybody and myself, not havin 'him' in my life makes matter 10 times harder to deal with, losin him made me lose hope in so many things. =shrugs= who am i to complain? i got great people in my life...

party time is over. good night.

-M-

Oct 28th of 2005

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 07:25:21 GMT

i love my 4 bad ass girls.

love love love love em!!!!

everybody tells me...
once u got somebody good in your life..
dont u let em go.

LISTEN TO THEM.

believe me when i say nobody can come close to what we had, nobody.

-M-

Oct 24th of 2005

Tue, 25 Oct 2005 05:08:41 GMT

edit on the 26th

my week:

monday:: school, hollywood with TeeTee<3

tuesday:: school till 7pm =(

wednesday:: school, work, then maybe dinner with Henry G<3

thursday:: school till 7 (double =( hah cuz its so looong!), out for dinner with my girlies

friday:: work =) i get to dress up for work lolxx, jon's costume party @usc

saturday:: family time, aidan time<3<3<3, errands, PLAY TIME with a cop, and a dominatrix (clubbin' at century!) lolxx<3<3<3

sunday:: work @ 3 till 8pm. thank gosh!! i can sleep in the mornin =]

i hope u all have a good halloween my dears!!! be safe and be sexy! heh....

life isn't fun when you're on hold in someone's else life.

so many things are confused in my head...i don't know what to think anymore.. i don't know what to believe, who to trust, how to move on from certain people. i thought i had it all figured out. i thought my heart knew what it wanted, who it wanted. but daaamn, now im just c o n f u s e d!!

-M-

GOT INVADED

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 01:45:31 GMT

THIS IS TEE UPDATIN' HER JOURNAL,

ME AND HER LOVE COOKIES SOO MUCH, WE'VE BEEN BAKIN COOKIES LIKE EVERY OTHER DAY TOGETHER. SIGHS.....

MAY IS AWESOME, SHE CALLED ME ON OCT. 22 AT 12:15A.M....AND I WAS THINKIN' SHE BE CALLIN' TO SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUT INSTEAD SHE ASK ME FOR DIRECTION... GREAT BEST FRIEND SHE IS AINT' SHE....=pppP LOLS

I HEART YOU BITCH!

YAY! COOKIES!>..

Oct 22nd of 2005

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 07:31:29 GMT

happy buuurthday TeeTee!!!!
FINALLY.... 20! lolxx

i love you!

and PARRRRRTY UP TMORROW BABE!!

DRINK TOO... =pPpp YUMMMMM...

4GET ALL OUR WORRIES, ALL OF EM!!!

-M-

Oct 19th of 2005

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 07:07:06 GMT

come home soon gippy...we miss you.

i had a baaaad morning today right... so i decided i just wanted to go home after my first class to sleep. as if things couldnt get any worse... as i was pullin on my drive way, the car's lisense plate that was parked in front of my house said "POOKIE" on it. by that point, i just wanted to sleep and not think about anything.....tomorrow is yet another month ... 42o

he wrote this on our one year anniversary last year...

to my love,

this year could have been the worst year, but then i met you and fell deeply in love with you. the words can't explain how i feel but i know it's love and that i'll love you for the rest of my life. life can't get any better than this. happy one year with many more to come.....

i love him so much....

-M-

Oct 17th of 2005

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 05:55:20 GMT

just came home from hangin out with my homey henry g. =T we had a intense convo... made me sad, made me think. he opened my mind to REALITY.

are people really playing me for a fool? if they are, shame on them for putting me through this crap. cause what comes around, GOES AROUND. i hardly believe in karma but for this, forreals now... wtf are people thinking to mess with my mind like this? FUCK THIS SHIT. and when i say that to them, they get mad. wtf u gettin mad for? i hope the shit you're puttin me through is hauntin you every fucken night. when i give you my love, DON'T take that for granted... its a fragile thing u know? trust is hard to earn, but easy to lose. REMEMBER THAT. and please whoever is reading this, dont take this as a hate issue... its whats real, whats been on my mind for awhile.. i won't say who its for, if you think its for you.. then it is. if not, then dont worry about it. if my friendship means a damn thing to you, you'll think twice b4 hurtin me. if it doesn't mean that much, then get the fuck out of my life.. i don't need you.

i'm just gonna see how everything ends this year, if my friendships with certain people will shine or die. what's it gonna be? after this year, it's over so get your act straight.

when will time take it all away? =T

anyways... i found my costume. =D
whos gonna be my big bad wolf? =X jokin.
FUN FUN FUN...

-M-

Oct 16th of 2005

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 23:52:33 GMT

You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways

They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away

sideways
citizen cope
people think that time can heal everything, but in my opinion it can also deepen the pain.

Knotts was fun, thanks to the ones that made the best out of it! =] and henry g for covering my ears so i wouldn't hear the monsters taunt me =( lolxx

didn't take pictures with everybody tho.. =T

so far the plans for the week...
monday:: school then hollywood for costume shoppin
tuesday:: school
wednesday:: school then work
thursday:: school
friday:: work
saturday:: lil's buuurthday, clubbing it
sunday:: work SLEEEP

-M-

Oct 15th of 2005

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 21:51:14 GMT

fuck with me...

I'LL FUCK YOU RIGHT BACK.

that's for all the "homies" that i lost trust in. i trust people waay too easily and all i gotta say is, good job guys for making me see your true selves, SELFISH BITCHES.

anyways.....

knotts is tonight... =] meetin at 7PM!! please please don't lag.

only he can make me smile like that.

-M-

Oct 13th of 2005

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 07:05:37 GMT

i can not wait for this satuuuurday!!!!! weeee...
(just a reminder to myself of whos goen)
>henry g
>tee
>gippy
>kevin
>jessica
>jane
>tim
>jaxon
>gibert
>henwee
>stan
>danny
>my cousin john
>his girlfrend
u BOYS better take care of us GIRLS =]

=X

so this is gonna be my week... most likely.. so catch me if u can<3

thurs: school till 7pm, out with Henry G
fri: dentist then work at 4pm
sat: boo boo is comin over so time with the family<3, out with Maraton, then knotts at nite
sun: work, sleep, sleep, sleep. lolxx

-M-

Oct 10th of 2005

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 04:12:52 GMT

since you left, my life just stopped making sense.
i miss his breath taking kisses.
i miss his wonderful hugs.
i miss holding him.
i miss talking to him.
i miss our memories.
i miss our unforgetable nights.
i miss the bumpy rides in his car.
i miss holding his sweaty hands >.<
i miss calling him on our aniversary day.
i miss calling him my pookie.
i miss calling him, mine.
i miss our i love you's...
i just miss everything.
i simply miss YOU.

but i gave it a lot of thought...
i came to the conclusion that i'm too weak to hold on. i gotta let everything go, that means i gotta let the hope of "him and i" goo... i don't want to, but i need to. i'm sorry.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i can not wait for this satuuuurday!!!!! weeee...

-M-

Oct 9th of 2005

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 05:56:30 GMT

i had a ... FAST weekend.
friday::: shopped with my mama, got myself a sweeet lil ol' gucci<3. worked. then i think my homey came over to chill, i dont remember.. lolxx
sat::: out with the family<3<3<3. my sister's bday dinner. stayed home to play with my boo boo<3<3<3<3<3
sunday::: picked up LiL for work. went to dinner with Henry G.

it was a loooovely weekend i tell ya..

btw, new # so if i havent told u yet, ask me beautiful!

-M-

Oct 7th of 2005

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 06:28:44 GMT

people still asks about him and me...
and it's still hard for me to talk about it...
...but they believe that we'll make it back to each other one day...

boo boo is comin over this weekend!! my lil pumpkin! =]

-M-

Oct 4th of 2005

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 03:08:36 GMT

my friend has a truck. i like trucks.

IMMA GET A TRUCK... =] A BIG BLACK SEXY SHINY ONE.. O YEA.

"i need you here tonite just like the ocean needs the waves..."
the ocean by mae

through all the crying, fighting, laughing, working, living, loving, confusion.... i'm just trying to find myself.

-M-

Oct 2nd of 2005

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 04:00:52 GMT

as for now, my heart knows no meaning of being heart broken, it's just not fixed yet. i'm not hopeful yet not hopeless... i'm stuck in the middle.

-M-

Sept 29th of 2005

Fri, 30 Sep 2005 03:16:23 GMT

things r lookin up, in a weird twisted way.
i have the most cheerful group of friends lolxx
always there for me, thanks my lovelies!

Sometimes
What may be the best thing
For you to do
Sometimes thats the hardest thing
For you to do
And that, that's real you know 'cause
I know I love you
I know how I feel about you
But I also know that don't
Make everything alright
And for that reason
I gotta say goodbye...

...And it's over
I'll never love another
I'm always thinking of him
I'm doing this to because of him...

...Aint no one in this world that can ever take your place
all the love that we share it can never be erased
and i know that, that it hurts so bad
and im sorry babe, your the best ive had...

for you babe.... =T

-M-

Sept 27th of 2005

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 03:19:44 GMT

today was a better day... =]

I HEART THE TABLE CREW

i took that when i was down in torrance yesterday... so beautiful.

me and nanciness<3

brian and nick =]

just hangin' out b4 class, table crew makes me smile =D

-M-

Sept 26th of 2005

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 05:34:34 GMT

just think about it, how would it be when two people who sworn that they love each other with all their hearts, one day.... just decided to become friends and went their seperate ways?

i would cry and my heart would hurt just listening to a story like that...

i did and it does.
i experienced it.

-M-

Sept 25th of 2005

Mon, 26 Sep 2005 03:45:26 GMT

i miss my boo boo.
and i miss Ant. =T
the 2 people that can only make me smile and they aren't even here.

i want to just give up. its breaking my heart....

yesterday......

had brunch with maraton

at the show me.tee.jen

had such a fucken awesome time!!

-M-